19 Things I’ve Heard My Kids Say and It’s Not Even 9 a.m.

Posted on Posted in Hilarity, Writing and Motherhood


Here’s a random list of things my two children, ages almost six and going on two, have said this morning, and it’s not even nine o’clock:

1. “I want a different shirt.” (Heard three times, not including initial change from pajamas to clothes.)

2. “What’s that sound?” (Heard twelve times, including when a bug hit the window and once when I picked a wedgie and my underwear snapped.)

3. “I want ice cream.”

4. “Why do you wear underwear?”

5. “Ewww. Icky.” (Heard repeatedly when told the sound was a bug hitting the window.)

6. “Why do you have to mow the grass?”

7. “I like SpongeBob.” (Author’s note: Me too, kid. Me too. It’s that Caillou we don’t agree on.)

8. “I want a napkin.”

9. “That’s sticky.”

10. “That’s sticky.” (You can just go ahead and repeat everything on this list because my youngest daughter currently says every single thing her big sister says.)

11. “I’m cleaning up.” (Wipes napkin on couch where boogers were just wiped.)

12. “I like you.” (If you could hear my heart melt.)

13. “Get away from me.” (Said to sibling, followed by a conversation on kindness.)

14. “I’m making sugar and spice.” (My daughter is obsessed with play cooking along to cooking shows. We have no idea where she picked this up, though. I do not go around telling her little girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. In my experience, they’re made of fruit snacks, sass, and ice cream.)

15. “A square.” (In response to her own question about what shape my body is.)

16. “You okay?” (Said sweetly to sister after she shoved her.)

17. “I’m okay.” (Said by seemingly oblivious little sister.)

18. “You okay?” (Said by little to big sister after she shoves her.)

19. “This is fun.” (Repeated countless times. Thank God.)

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