I Don’t Care If My Kids Get Married & Have Kids, but I Care about This.

Posted on Posted in How to Love & Be Loved., Self-love and acceptance.


I want so many things for my children.

They aren’t what I typically hear other parents say.

I don’t fantasize about my children being grown up and married with kids. I don’t daydream that they’ll have good paying jobs. I don’t envision them always bringing home As.

This isn’t to say that I don’t want these things for my girls, or that these aren’t lovely aspirations. But what I want for my kids is much simpler.

I want things like this:

I want them to be honest. I want them to be so honest that sometimes they feel they’ve shared and bared too much.

I want them to be confident. I want them to know (and demand) their worth.

I want them to find happiness. I want my children to continue to see joy in seemingly insignificant hiding places inside of our ordinary lives.

I want them to know that they are not ordinary. I want them to understand that none of us are—we are all special and valuable in our own heroic ways.

I want them to take care of their bodies. I want them to recognize that we eat healthy foods and move our bodies because they house our souls.

I want them to love. I want them to know that learning to show and receive love begins within ourselves.

I want them to work. I do hope that they have enjoyable jobs that support a good life, but what I want so much more than this is for my children to appreciate that life requires effort—to appreciate working hard at everything we do regardless of potential rewards.

I want them to be proud. I don’t mean pride as in arrogance or conceit. Rather, I refer to pride in who they are as individuals—I want them to refuse to allow society’s judgments or stigmas to color their own self-perception and, more, their own sense of self-worth.

So, yes, I want many things for my children. Yet none of these things come with price tags, paper certificates or even public recognition.

Because it’s true that a life well lived begins with knowing who we are, and accepting what we find.



Photo: Pink Sherbet Photography/Flickr.

6 thoughts on “I Don’t Care If My Kids Get Married & Have Kids, but I Care about This.

  1. Thanks for this essay. I think, as a parent, we lose sight of what we really want for our kids and you have described exactly what each of us should want for them. We should never lose sight of the fact that we are raising the next generation.

    1. Thanks to you, Mitch, for taking the time to both read and comment. I agree with you completely, and your last line just says it all.

  2. what wonderful blessings and gifts to vision for your children. Maybe a card to celebrate the birth of a child could be designed to have these positive ideas included. It could help new parents focus on a road less traveled, but much more important than the one marked status and fame.

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