When I was a new writer, I enjoyed stringing together beautiful words.

To this day, I’ll choose a word as much as, if not more, for its sound within the sentence as for its meaning.

But.

But it took me a little bit of writing publicly to fully understand that writing words is not enough—no matter how beautiful or poetic or powerful the prose, writing words is not enough. Because words must have meaning.

It’s when words convey a simple, universally felt truth and are beautiful that good writing is made.

Great writing, though I won’t pretend to completely know it, can only exist when we are not scribbling words just to scribble.

“You don’t write because you want to say something, you write because you have something to say.”

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

It took me longer than I’d care to admit to fully comprehend that sentence above.

And there are times when I write just because I feel like it.

The clickity-clack, clickity-clack on black-and-white letters soothes my tired spirit, uplifts my fragile human heart and makes me feel impassioned, empowered and whole when I feel none of these things until the words have crossed my heart and lips through my fingertips.

But.

But for words to be shared with the intention of reaching the hearts and minds of others, they must have meaning.

Words that are beautiful, powerful, fill-in-the-blank sounding and that resonate emotionally become worth sharing when they also offer something worth hearing—something true—this is the recipe for great writing.

Or, at least, this is the something that I have to say today.

Photo: Flickr/Writing.

The post Words Must Have Meaning. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

The quote that I’m about to share is the single most encouraging string of words that has crossed my path since my dear friend and yoga teacher recited it in class a few months ago.

It’s uplifting because it’s a reminder to take heart in our humanness and the sheer power of being, even and especially on our most ordinary of days.

And, personally, the entire point of much of my writing is to emphasize how every day can be an opportunity to turn the ordinary into the extraordinary. Every waking moment that I inhale a new breath and then let it back out is a chance to have the best day of my life.

“As it is, we are merely bolting our lives—gulping down undigested experiences as fast as we can stuff them in—because awareness of our own existence is so superficial and so narrow that nothing seems to us more boring than simple being.  If I ask you what you did, saw, heard, smelled, touched and tasted yesterday, I am likely to get nothing more than the thin, sketchy outline of the few things that you noticed, and of those only what you thought worth remembering. Is it surprising that an existence so experienced seems so empty and bare that its hunger for an infinite future is insatiable? But suppose you could answer, “It would take me forever to tell you, and I am much too interested in what’s happening now.” How is it possible that a being with such sensitive jewels as the eyes, such enchanted musical instruments as the ears, and such a fabulous arabesque of nerves as the brain can experience itself as anything less than a god? And, when you consider that this incalculably subtle organism is inseparable from the still more marvelous patterns of its environment—from the minutest electrical designs to the whole company of the galaxies—how is it conceivable that this incarnation of all eternity can be bored with being?”

~Alan Watts, The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

Photo credits: imgur.

Special thanks to my good friend for this quote. xo

The post The Best Quote I’ve Ever Heard. (Ever.) first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

There are many universally known truths about life.

One is that life isn’t fair; another is that you don’t want to sit downwind of your lactose intolerant friend after she just ate cheese—and here are a few more:

1. No one trusts a gossip.

2. Numbers on the scale only mean so much.

3. It’s unnecessary to wash your hair every day.

4. But it’s okay if you do.

5. Facebook friends who constantly share workout advice in the vein of P90X and how many squats they did before breakfast are annoying.

6. If you’re still talking about it, then you haven’t “let it go.”

7. Women like sex too.

8. Lying only works for so long.

9. Everyone needs help.

10. Money really doesn’t buy happiness.

11. But having enough doesn’t hurt either.

12. Laughing makes you feel better.

13. Vagina isn’t a bad word.

14. Asshole is.

15. Great love takes work.

16. We all have time to exercise.

17. Perfection isn’t attractive—your wonderful, little quirks are.

18. We should speak the truth, with love.

19. Thoughts become words and actions, so hone your thoughts into the words and actions that you want to live.

20. Live each day like it’s your first, not your last.

“Truth is like the sun. You can shut it out for a time, but it ain’t goin’ away.” ~ Elvis Presley

Photo: Kate Ter Haar/Flickr.

This article was first published by elephant journal.

The post 20 Important Life Truths Everyone Should Know. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

“My recipe for life is not being afraid of myself, afraid of what I think or of my opinions.” ~ Eartha Kitt

I just got off the phone with my sister.

She witnessed a terrible injustice today in her job as a social worker.

I look over at my daughter—so small, fragile and dependent upon protection despite her sassy, can-do attitude—and I’m struck square in the chest with the forceful realization that these types of injustices occur daily and hourly and over and over again.

And I might not be able to help (Lord knows my sister tries). I might not even be able to keep my own child safe (although not for lack of effort and perseverance), and this sickens me.

Yet, as I glance towards her curly hair and soft, peach-pink skin and large, intelligent, kind eyes, I see my success as a human being—in her tiny person, my whole life is given more meaning than every “A” that I earned in college or every mile that I pushed myself through when I ran or any amount of success that my writing will bring me.

Because the most important thing in a recipe for success is two-fold.

Initially, we need more than goals. We need hopes and dreams and sandcastles in the sky to build foundations underneath—and then we have to be open to the flowing, swirling, mutable way that life unfolds despite our best laid groundwork.

My own hopes and dreams have a fundamentally unchanged core, but much of what I want changes as I give myself permission to grow and shift and, in short, become wiser.

So, for me, my starter recipe for success looks something like this (you know, like a starter for bread dough…I digress):

A well-rounded cup of imagination.

We are at our best when we are inquisitive and capable of understanding that there is more to unearth than what we’ve been given to work with.

Several dashes of humor.

Maintaining a sense of humor gives us the confident foundation to stay malleable enough to go with life’s twists and turns—and fun is absolutely part of the successful journey.

Copious amounts of self-love.

 Yes, love in general is grand, but true love begins with loving ourselves.

If it’s been a long time since you’ve treated yourself with love, then take the baby step of having a gentler inner voice (the way that you would speak to a young child or a beloved friend).

A handful of fire.

 I’m a nice person. Sincerely, I am. However, my recipe calls also for the ability to stand firmly and tenaciously when I need to in my own convictions.

A pinch of cynicism.

Because it’s okay to insist on looking outside of the box and it’s more than okay to question and stay curious.

A shake or two of money.

We need money to live. As a chakra enthusiast, I often keep within the back pocket of my mind that my spiritual self is nurtured and nourished by an equally practical self that wants to care for my basic human needs.

(You know, that whole a tree has roots thing.)

A hunk of willing to get dirty.

And I don’t mean playing dirty or anything undesirable. Rather, we do need to remember that if we want to hang out in sandcastles in the clouds, that someone has to get a little mussy building that foundation.

 A couple smidgens of forgiveness.

 Successful people will fall. More, they expect to fall and to fail.

It’s wonderful to have the aforementioned fire and tenacity to get back up, but it’s even better to forgive yourself for not living up to expectations.

One thing that I find helpful is to recognize that my falls are teaching tools and learning experiences towards my larger success rather than simple, unnecessary set-backs and obstacles.

And your recipe might ask for varying amounts of these ingredients, but that’s the best part about being a master chef—you can create your own new, brilliant—and previously unknown—recipes.

 “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Photo credit: thephotographymuse/Flickr.

This article was first published by elephant journal.

The post Recipe for a Successful Life. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

“The cure for anything is salt water: sweat, tears or the sea.”

~ Isak Dinesen

I’m sitting in bed underneath cozy layers of blankets; sheets tucked in around my thighs.

Morning light streams in from my bedroom windows. An almost overwhelming sliver hits my eye slightly, but not enough to adjust myself; just enough to feel alive within a new and glowing morning.

Streaks of shadows play across my rose and green, leaf-patterned quilt. I could stare at these hazy, darkened lines for hours, making shapes and seeing silhouettes like I did as a child in a rainy car, with beads of water falling down our family van’s windows.

My eyes are puffy and my mind isn’t quite awake yet, despite already having breakfast, getting dressed and dropping my child off at school.

The space heater to the right of my bed pumps out warm air, making a nest of welcoming space directly around my sage green yoga mat.

My heart feels warm too and I can almost feel this warmth creep up my throat and, instead of flowing out of my mouth, it moves out through my fingertips. I hear the clickity-clack, clickity-clack of my typing and I recognize the sensation of feeling truly alive.

I’ve connected my coveted laptop to my portable but large-ish black iPod dock with a rather lengthy cord so that I can listen to unfamiliar music on NPR’s First Listen.

The raging guitars remind me of my rebellious, lively youth and I know that they’re a distinct part of the heat that radiates, not from my small space heater, but from my beating, thriving chest.

And how do we come back to life?

Because last week was a wonderful one for me, but I felt fatigued and low on patience.

I still practiced yoga but, in all honesty, none of my practices felt good to either my body or my soul, and I felt a disconnect as wide as the canyons I’ve hiked between who I wanted to see staring back at me from the mirror last week and who I actually gazed at.

And tears prick my eyes, but they don’t trickle down my cheeks and drop in fluid puddles on my keyboard of letters, where I can see my watery heart laid bare, raw and exposed around my moving fingertips.

No, this morning tears tickle my eyes and that’s exactly the word to describe why: my amused emotions want to extend their joy and gratitude out toward my body where, naked, they can be seen in the glassy splashes of my spirit.

“There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.”

~ Washington Irving

But when life threatens to limit our self-held beliefs and our understanding of our own capabilities through its occasionally harsh reality and simple, daily human wear, it’s easy to forget how to weep for love and light.

One Hindu legend offers that Lord Shiva opened his eyes after a long yogic meditation and began to weep; his tears growing into the rudraksha tree, whose seeds are used traditionally in mala prayer beads—Shiva’s compassionate tears for all of humanity became tools to then help heal.

“But a mermaid has no tears, and therefore she suffers so much more.”

~ Hans Christian Andersen, The Little Mermaid

Because we need to flow through the full range of our human experience in order to not only come alive, but to live with a profound sense of peace and happiness and ease.

And who of us can taste victory without first going through a defeat?

Where is the person who can know love without having been heartbroken?

How can we be healed and whole if we haven’t also fallen apart?

“There are more tears shed over answered prayers than over unanswered prayers.”

~ Saint Teresa of Avila

So on this morning, when the light streams through my bedroom window and falls, along with a few tears, onto my rose and green, leaf-patterned quilt, I count my blessings in each earned droplet.

I turn my head gently to the left and see the reddest of cardinals outside my window, with snow sprinkling his bark-covered perch, and I know that winter is coming to its close and spring—with its re-birth and beauty and elation—is caressing the underside of the earth and advancing on the clear but frigid blue sky—and I know in my churning, beating, watery heart that I’ll enjoy my own youthful, dawning reincarnation much more having equally experienced my own wintry downfall too.

“No tears in the writer, no tears in the reader. No surprise in the writer, no surprise in the reader.”

~ Robert Frost

Photo credits: Author’s own; Anil kumar/Flickr.

This article was first published by elephant journal.

The post The Healing Power of Tears: 5 Poignant Quotes to Move Us Beyond Regret. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

I grew up loving Valentine’s Day.

I’m lucky because my parents always made it feel special, even if I didn’t have a boyfriend or a crush at school ready to hand me a handmade card.

Yet as we grow older many of us either become sick and bored with the phony sense that this is only a “Hallmark holiday,” or we’re sad and lonely and don’t feel much like celebrating. And, yes, love is a wonderful, joyous thing, but I think that many of us forget that love doesn’t have to always come in the form of a long-term relationship and long-stem roses.

Love can come from friends and from children and from parents and, sure, from spouses too.

While I’m thankful to be spending today with my adoring partner, the love that I’ll be sending out into the world isn’t only extended to him. Actually, I was inspired to write this by one of my best friends, another writer, who reminded me that love is so much more than heart-shaped cookies and glasses of red wine (not that those things aren’t fabulous).

So, for those of you who also needed a boost of loving inspiration, this one’s for you. It’s for you if your day, like mine, won’t be as you might have ideally planned. It’s for you if you’re single. This hand-written valentine, from my heart to yours, is for all of us. (And I hope you enjoy.)

“Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage.” ~ Lao Tzu

“I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear.” ~ Martin Luther King, Jr.

“I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love.” ~ Mother Teresa

“A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him.” ~ Brendan Francis

“The best thing to hold onto in life is each other.” ~ Audrey Hepburn

“I like not only to be loved, but also to be told I am loved.” ~ George Eliot

“Who, being loved, is poor?” ~ Oscar Wilde

“It is easier to forgive an enemy than to forgive a friend.” ~ William Blake

“For small creatures such as we the vastness is bearable only through love.” ~ Carl Sagan

“Love is the only reality and it is not a mere sentiment. It is the ultimate truth that lies at the heart of creation.” ~ Rabindranath Tagore

“My great hope is to laugh as much as I cry; to get my work done and try to love somebody and have the courage to accept the love in return.” ~ Maya Angelou

“I am good, but not an angel. I do sin, but I am not the devil. I am just a small girl in a big world trying to find someone to love.” ~ Marilyn Monroe

And being human—exposing ourselves to love and to hurt—it’s all part of the experience:

 “The moment that you feel, just possibly, you are walking down the street naked, exposing too much of your heart and your mind, and what exists on the inside, showing too much of yourself…That is the moment, you might be starting to get it right.” ~ Neil Gaiman

Finally, I wanted to close with a favorite of mine, because it’s inspirational for all of us, regardless of who we’re sharing Valentine’s Day with.

“To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” ~Oscar Wilde

Bonus: the best love song of all time James Sometimes (Lester Piggot) (1993).

Photos: Author’s own; Nicola Jones/Flickr.

This article was first published by elephant journal.

The post 14 Quotes for Bleeding Hearts & The Best Love Song of All Time. {Video} first appeared on Jennifer S. White.