<\/a><\/h3>\n

Okay, maybe not over-rated.<\/h3>\n

But the definition for romance, in my opinion, is usually all wrong.<\/p>\n

Romance looked completely different to me when I was 25 than it does now at 35.<\/p>\n

At 25, romance was frilly and came in tiny packages with red ribbons.<\/p>\n

Romance, at 25, contained\u00a0mostly things I’d learned from fairy-tales—from actual story-books as well as from my own young-woman imagination.<\/p>\n

Romance was what I would name my children and what I would get for my first wedding anniversary from my new husband.<\/p>\n

Romance, in short, was pretty.<\/p>\n

Today, at 35, romance is not always practical.<\/a><\/p>\n

At 35, romance can still be attractive, but, much like myself, it’s gotten the addition of a few smile lines—things that make the packaging look a little bit worn and loved, even if not yet tattered and forgotten.<\/p>\n

Because romance at 35 is less idealistic—it’s less little-girl creation and more woman’s heart-food.<\/p>\n

Grand, princely gestures have been replaced by tokens of simple appreciation—things like doing laundry and getting the ingredients for my favorite dinner on the way home from work.<\/p>\n

And while romance is surely alive and kicking, it’s often found dressed in fun, cotton leggings rather than taffeta dresses.<\/p>\n

This recently came up on a car ride with my sister.<\/p>\n

I mentioned to her that I think women can get themselves into trouble when looking for charming, dashing suitors instead of actual partner material.<\/p>\n

Partner material doesn’t always pull your chair out at restaurants—although that’s not to say that women don’t deserve to be treated this way.<\/p>\n

Still, partner material is someone who has a career that motivates his or her\u00a0daily life, someone who strives to take care of himself both in body and in mind, and partner material can be romantic, absolutely, but partner material might occasionally have to work late\u00a0or prefer to eat in.<\/p>\n

Because romance and charm, while attractive, are also somewhat of a shiny veneer that, frankly, can be a false,\u00a0sirenic echo of what actually lies\u00a0beneath—hidden and untrue.<\/em><\/p>\n

The other thing that I told my sister was that, often, I’ve found pointy, jagged personalities underneath such sparkly armor.<\/p>\n

This isn’t to say that all charming, charismatic people are dissatisfying.<\/p>\n

No, my husband is sweet and thoughtful and gentlemanly—and also a genuinely kind person.<\/p>\n

My daughter, too, is the most charismatic person I’ve ever been\u00a0privileged to meet—and she, equally, is the kindest human\u00a0I know.<\/p>\n

Regardless, charm wears thin when not matched with soul; not coupled with purpose; not paired with an earthy, willing personage that seeks the same things beyond appearing wondrous from the outside.<\/p>\n

We are more than body.<\/em><\/p>\n

We are more than cute dinner conversation and fun weekend outings.<\/p>\n