{"id":1028,"date":"2014-03-08T13:54:13","date_gmt":"2014-03-08T13:54:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/?p=1028"},"modified":"2014-08-27T14:14:25","modified_gmt":"2014-08-27T14:14:25","slug":"8-ways-to-make-every-day-your-best-without-pretending-youre-happy-or-letting-go","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/8-ways-to-make-every-day-your-best-without-pretending-youre-happy-or-letting-go\/","title":{"rendered":"8 Ways to Make Every Day Your Best Without Pretending You\u2019re Happy or Letting Go."},"content":{"rendered":"

\"7346833044_05a7b22e71_z\"<\/a><\/h3>\n

\u201cTo stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge\u2014that is the path of true awakening.\u201d<\/h3>\n

~\u00a0Pema Chodron<\/h3>\n

There are some mornings when you wake up and you\u2019re not really sure how you feel yet\u2014the sky isn\u2019t quite dark, but it\u2019s also not yet light.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re awake and ready to move and make coffee, but you\u2019re not close to alert or mentally crystal clear.<\/p>\n

You had a mixture of strange dreams, compiled of family members\u2019 faces you miss and subconscious hopes you didn\u2019t even know were there until they so unexpectedly popped up into your night.<\/p>\n

You\u2019re excited about your afternoon plans and saying good morning to your daughter, but you can\u2019t fully explain why you still feel a little mopey and kind of\u2026heart-achy.<\/p>\n

And what do you do? When you feel that your day and your mindset could potentially go in several directions? You do this:<\/em><\/p>\n

1.\u00a0You get out of bed\u2014after lying there for a moment.<\/em><\/h4>\n

You let your possibly raw, tender or unexpressed feelings settle into your tissues and your conscious mind so that you\u2019re able to be fully present in your life\u2014able to deal with whatever comes up because you\u2019re not hiding from yourself or your life\u2014and then you get the f*ck up. You roll to your side, swing your legs over your bed and you. get. up.<\/p>\n

2.\u00a0You practice yoga.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Ideally, this is a real, physical yoga practice that involves breathing and moving through sun salutes and postures that are designed to release the aforementioned experiences from your tissues, so that you don\u2019t carry around yesterday\u2019s tensions and burdens. Yet here\u2019s the secret: you can practice yoga in many different ways.<\/p>\n

Just to name a few: ride a bike, walk on a scenic local trail, chew and taste every bite of your breakfast. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.<\/p>\n

3. You don\u2019t let go.<\/em><\/h4>\n

You eventually do\u2014maybe\u2014but you remember for dear life\u2014and you accept that.<\/p>\n

I cannot help that I have a memory that hangs onto exact words from a conversation from years ago or the knowledge of exactly the way I felt in a situation, but let me tell you that pretending you don\u2019t remember does no good. This is called denial.<\/p>\n

Instead, be open to the reality that who you are might not be who you \u201cwant\u201d to be.\u00a0Jealousy, hurt, fear\u2014these are all emotions that are extremely uncomfortable\u2014but it\u2019s much worse to pretend that they don\u2019t exist.<\/p>\n

Learn to acknowledge, accept and name what\u2019s going on inside of yourself and your life, even if it\u2019s not ideal or welcome.<\/p>\n

4. Hug and kiss.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Hug your children. Kiss your husband good-bye before work. Hug your mother. Kiss your friend on her cheek. Cuddle your dog.<\/p>\n

In short, never forget to live the true human\u00a0experience of touch\u2014we crave it because we need it.<\/p>\n

5. Throw away your bucket list.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Oh, bucket lists, I really don\u2019t like these. Why? Because you should already be living every single stinkin\u2019 day like it\u2019s your last.\u00a0Will that mean climbing Mount Everest today? Hmmm, probably not since you have a nine o\u2019clock meeting. On the other hand, does this concept shape your every interaction?<\/p>\n

Will you kiss your husband good-bye after he irritated you because you never know what the day will bring? Not to be negative, but it\u2019s true. This is the real world.<\/p>\n

Will you take a chance and ask for that raise you know that you deserve (the proper way, of course) because you\u2019ve decided to live your life to its fullest every day, and not just on your birthday and Christmas?<\/p>\n

Live. Every. Damn. Day. Like. It\u2019s. Your. Last. (And\u00a0throw away your bucket list<\/a>, please.)<\/p>\n

6. Open your heart.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Okay, I don\u2019t want to get all syrupy new-agey on you, but this is true: life hurts. It stings in fact. However, if you close and harden and become crotchety and bitter as you age, then you attract these type of people and experiences right back into your life. Open up your heart, even and especially when it hurts.<\/p>\n

You got burned in love? Try again.\u00a0You got fired from your job? Apply for a better one.<\/p>\n

The world needs more people who aren\u2019t afraid of pain and who know that they are resilient enough to survive, thrive and move on.<\/p>\n

Be a phoenix not a lemming.<\/p>\n

7. You are not too old or too young.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Ageism\u2014another one of my arch nemeses. You are not too young to have your own thoughts and ideas and you are not too old to learn new things, to change or to simply love living. If people around you are telling you otherwise, find empathy for their obviously limited view of their own capabilities and shrug off their words\u2014and then proceed to do whatever the hell you want.<\/p>\n

8. Eat mindfully.<\/em><\/h4>\n

Eating disorders go in many directions. If you are ignoring your body\u2019s hunger cues and eating foods that generally\u00a0make your body feel bad, you are not doing yourself a service as far as pursuing your best day.<\/p>\n

So yesterday was a day filled with poor choices? (Or maybe your life up to now has been?) So what. I can tell you from personal experience that our bodies are more regenerative than we often think and that effective change happens when you take baby steps, not running leaps. (You know, the old tortoise and the hare story.)<\/p>\n

I look out the window and notice that the sky is definitely a brighter shade of grey. The looming, unforecasted rain casts a heaviness that I feel in my bones. (Literally, even my once-broken bones feel this weight.)\u00a0I decide to let the mysterious melancholy that I feel wash over me and through me, rather than turning away from it.<\/p>\n

I get up to make my coffee and I look forward to feeling its smooth, velvety texture roll over my tongue.<\/p>\n

I breathe and feel my chest expand with air.<\/p>\n

I dreamt in black and white last night\u2014I always do. I dream in shades of grey.<\/p>\n

This makes me aware that life is a spectrum and not two distinct colors. I want to see each shade for what they are, because that\u2019s living my life\u2014that\u2019s being authentic and this truth and clarity make each day my best.<\/em><\/p>\n

I sit with my loneliness and my own inner shades of grey because I know that living from this place allows me to move towards the end of the spectrum that I choose.<\/p>\n

I believe that life is a choice.<\/em><\/p>\n

We can\u2019t always choose our circumstances and we might learn to shape and transform our feelings and thoughts through effort, but we still have to own up to our almost primal and instinctual reactions.<\/p>\n

So you want to live your best day? Then be you. Feel you. Live every day right where you are.<\/p>\n

\u201cTo truly laugh, you must be able to take your pain, and play with it!\u201d ~ Charlie Chaplin<\/h4>\n

 <\/p>\n

Photo: KittyKaht\/Flickr<\/a>.<\/p>\n

This article was first published by\u00a0elephant journal.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

\u201cTo stay with a broken heart, with a rumbling stomach, with the feeling of hopelessness and wanting to get revenge\u2014that is the path of true awakening.\u201d ~\u00a0Pema Chodron There are some mornings when you...<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2656,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[39,9],"tags":[224,223,45],"class_list":["post-1028","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-forgiveness-the-fiction-of-letting-go","category-inspirational-pick-me-ups","tag-awakening","tag-bucket-list","tag-letting-go"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"aioseo_notices":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/03\/7346833044_05a7b22e71_z.jpg","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p4dYEp-gA","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1028"}],"version-history":[{"count":6,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2658,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1028\/revisions\/2658"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2656"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1028"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1028"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/jenniferswhite.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1028"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}