“My recipe for life is not being afraid of myself, afraid of what I think or of my opinions.” ~ Eartha Kitt

I just got off the phone with my sister.

She witnessed a terrible injustice today in her job as a social worker.

I look over at my daughter—so small, fragile and dependent upon protection despite her sassy, can-do attitude—and I’m struck square in the chest with the forceful realization that these types of injustices occur daily and hourly and over and over again.

And I might not be able to help (Lord knows my sister tries). I might not even be able to keep my own child safe (although not for lack of effort and perseverance), and this sickens me.

Yet, as I glance towards her curly hair and soft, peach-pink skin and large, intelligent, kind eyes, I see my success as a human being—in her tiny person, my whole life is given more meaning than every “A” that I earned in college or every mile that I pushed myself through when I ran or any amount of success that my writing will bring me.

Because the most important thing in a recipe for success is two-fold.

Initially, we need more than goals. We need hopes and dreams and sandcastles in the sky to build foundations underneath—and then we have to be open to the flowing, swirling, mutable way that life unfolds despite our best laid groundwork.

My own hopes and dreams have a fundamentally unchanged core, but much of what I want changes as I give myself permission to grow and shift and, in short, become wiser.

So, for me, my starter recipe for success looks something like this (you know, like a starter for bread dough…I digress):

A well-rounded cup of imagination.

We are at our best when we are inquisitive and capable of understanding that there is more to unearth than what we’ve been given to work with.

Several dashes of humor.

Maintaining a sense of humor gives us the confident foundation to stay malleable enough to go with life’s twists and turns—and fun is absolutely part of the successful journey.

Copious amounts of self-love.

 Yes, love in general is grand, but true love begins with loving ourselves.

If it’s been a long time since you’ve treated yourself with love, then take the baby step of having a gentler inner voice (the way that you would speak to a young child or a beloved friend).

A handful of fire.

 I’m a nice person. Sincerely, I am. However, my recipe calls also for the ability to stand firmly and tenaciously when I need to in my own convictions.

A pinch of cynicism.

Because it’s okay to insist on looking outside of the box and it’s more than okay to question and stay curious.

A shake or two of money.

We need money to live. As a chakra enthusiast, I often keep within the back pocket of my mind that my spiritual self is nurtured and nourished by an equally practical self that wants to care for my basic human needs.

(You know, that whole a tree has roots thing.)

A hunk of willing to get dirty.

And I don’t mean playing dirty or anything undesirable. Rather, we do need to remember that if we want to hang out in sandcastles in the clouds, that someone has to get a little mussy building that foundation.

 A couple smidgens of forgiveness.

 Successful people will fall. More, they expect to fall and to fail.

It’s wonderful to have the aforementioned fire and tenacity to get back up, but it’s even better to forgive yourself for not living up to expectations.

One thing that I find helpful is to recognize that my falls are teaching tools and learning experiences towards my larger success rather than simple, unnecessary set-backs and obstacles.

And your recipe might ask for varying amounts of these ingredients, but that’s the best part about being a master chef—you can create your own new, brilliant—and previously unknown—recipes.

 “As a single footstep will not make a path on the earth, so a single thought will not make a pathway in the mind. To make a deep physical path, we walk again and again. To make a deep mental path, we must think over and over the kind of thoughts we wish to dominate our lives.” ~Henry David Thoreau

Photo credit: thephotographymuse/Flickr.

This article was first published by elephant journal.

The post Recipe for a Successful Life. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.

Daily Mini-Resolutions

I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions. Why? Because I think we should be working on self-improvement and overall life satisfaction on a regular basis, rather than on some arbitrary date.

Having said that—in re-thinking my anti-resolution stance—I recently realized that I practice mini-resolutions every single day.

Here is a list of 10 of those things.

 1. Open your heart.

Don’t let life make you cold and callous. Remember that to truly enjoy life you have to be open to the reality that sometimes it hurts too. Keep opening your heart to love.

 2. Give sincere compliments.

I’ve blogged before about how our society is so critical that people often don’t even know how to receive compliments. I’m not suggesting you go around throwing out so many compliments that they become meaningless, but sometimes letting someone know that you notice them in a positive way is exactly what that person needed—and that positivity will come back to you.

 3. Put effort into life.

My husband often says that people have a sense of entitlement, that they think they’re owed success or happiness. Guess what? You’re not. The reality is that life isn’t fair; happiness often takes working at having a positive outlook and mindset and worthwhile success comes from effort. However, I truly believe that God, the universe, or whatever you believe in, helps people that help themselves.

 4. Be honest, but not hurtful.

Honesty should be your only policy, but not when this honesty serves to make you feel better while hurting someone else. Learn when to be open and forthright—and when to keep your yapper shut.

 5. Sing.

Yes, sing. Singing clears our energy and brings lightness to our hearts. It really doesn’t matter if you’re a good singer. Just close the door, turn on your favorite song and belt out a tune—I promise you’ll feel invigorated.

 6. Play.

Every single day you should be doing something fun. Even if you have the craziest day at work or your kids are sick, there’s always one minute to joke and laugh with your spouse, to read a few pages of an inspiring book or to simply play along with your children (trust me, kids know how to have fun). Even making dinner can be enjoyable—if you have the right attitude.

 7. Drink water.

I love water—a lot. If you don’t like water, too bad, drink it anyway.

 8. Quit reading the news.

All right, I’m certainly not saying that we should become uneducated drones, but how often do you read unnecessarily damaging headlines—about depressing things that you can’t change or that don’t really affect you—and you feel like crap afterwards? So stop. Put down your phone or the TV remote and, I don’t know, sing a song instead.

 9. Hug.

Hugging is so underrated. Hugs help you become happy and relaxed almost instantly. Too often the people that we love become ordinary faces that we don’t spend enough time loving in basic human ways, like hugging.

 10. Forgive.

Almost every day presents us with challenging people or situations. These people and opportunities are put in our way because they serve to make us better people—if we allow it. So stop carrying old baggage around, and open yourself to the notion that every minute provides you the chance to start again—regardless of the date. Let yourself move forward—without the weight of burdens that don’t serve your best self.

While I don’t believe in New Year’s resolutions, I definitely do believe that every day can bring us closer to our highest, happiest selves; so consider trying these 10 small things on a regular basis—because it’s these little steps that get you where you want to be.

If you like this article, check out:

The Best Day of Your Life: A Guide to Transforming the Ordinary Into the Extraordinary.

Photo: John Templeton/Flickr.

This article was first published on elephant journal.

The post 10 Things You Should Do Every Day. first appeared on Jennifer S. White.